1:45pm
OK, today started off on a sour note with more banking follies and my client calling to reschedule, again. I was over it and very cranky about all that and it was only 10am. Then, as I'm chatting with Nick via iChat, I get pinged by someone whose handle I didn't recognize. My usual response to this is to tell them to fuck off and block them, but for some reason, I took the message. It was from a person that I had broken off with a couple of years ago.
We'd dated back in the early 90s and then we were sort of friends for years after that, although it was a lopsided friendship with me giving a LOT more than I got. Then he got involved with this girl that had issues (and all that word implies), who promptly banned me from his prescence. I don't think he had much to do with that decision, but he certainly did nothing to change it. In any case, I removed him from my world and rocked on. I was kept up to date via the grapevine and I knew that he married the girl. I assumed that I'd never hear from him again and let it go. Last year, the girl came into the Health Food store where I worked and made a complete ass of herself by a) cattily asking my coworker if my name was "Angie" then saying that I was 'a bitch' to the coworker and b) trying to TALK to me, like I would have anyfuckingthing to say!! I didn't recognize her at all (she looked rough) and she got in my face and asked why I hadn't moved away yet. I was so amazed that she'd be such an ass that I just sort of blew her off and walked away. I don't even remember what I said, but I'm happy to say that I didn't tell her to fuck off when I realized who it was. I was glad to get a good look at the honkin' 2+ carat platinum-set ring she was hauling around, tho. I had something to report to the rest of the circle of friends that were wondering what the hell happened to this guy that used to be our friend.
So, this guy just starts chatting with me out of the blue. I reread the transcript to make sure I understood what was said and sure enough, it appears that he has had some sort of lightbulb moment and he wants to renew our "kinda friendship". I don't know what to do with this information just yet. It's too much of a synchronicity to dismiss and yet I don't trust him enough to believe that he means any of it. He has, after all, proven over the years that his friendship skills leave a lot to be desired. Is he just bored and wanted to rattle my cage to see what kind of reaction he'd get? Did he really have a change of heart and decide to mend fences? Will he really face his neurotic wife and tell her that he wants to be friends with me again? Is it worth my emotional investment to even attempt a friendship with someone who has dissed me in a very personal, nasty way? What does this little encounter mean to me? I need to think about this very carefully.
Anyway, it's been a mindfuck sort of day here at Casa Misangela. I am so freaked out by all of this. GAH!!
[addendum: he has never msged me again or contacted me in any way. 6/03 More: he did call me again and we hung out some, but the bitchass wife won and he disappeared again in late 2003. 5/04- A]
Posted by Misangela at March 5, 2003 05:36 PM