I decided to redo this entry to include parts of the flame from someone named Kat as well as our thoughts about this after talking about it. -A 20 Sep 2003
Last week was an excercise in what can happen when people have totally different goals in a given situation. The planets didn't help much - with Mercury going retrograde and Mars lurking too close for comfort. Mercury retrogrades are notorious for causing misunderstandings and such but couple that with Mars the planet of war and aggression and what do you get? A clusterfuck, that's what.
The week before the Con was busy as hell for us. Despite everything, we managed to get it done. We were ready for the Con by Wednesday except for some last minute projects. Then our friends began to freak out about how they couldn't afford to go to the Con and they'd have to skip it. Well, for once we actually had enough money to float them a loan, so we did and they decided to go after all. We'd made some really beautiful cards for them to pass around and it seemed that all was well.
But. You knew there'd be a "but" didn't you? They called me Thursday saying that they needed a bigger car to schlep their web clients to Little 5 Points for lunch, so I put aside my projects and helped out. It was fun, the client is a friend of mine and we got to catch up. Then the client asked if we (Nick and I) could possibly crank out some biz cards for him that afternoon. The client asked for a fancy card with a pic but I shot that down, thinking that Nick wouldn't have time to do it. So, then text was discussed and that is what I told Nick to produce: text only, with color from the website.
From the Kat flame: "From my own involvement, I knew that the client himself did not like the original cards."
This Kat person was not involved in any way with the cards. She was not at the lunch, she had no input at all. Period.
"When the client's agent told you off, you took it upon yourself to go back and make a whole other set of cards, which the client still did not like."
That never happened. I was never told off by anyone. The second set of cards were done minutes after the first set was rejected by the web guy, NOT the client. The client never saw the second set of cards until we dropped them off. Our second set, BTW, were almost identical to the ones done by the web guy.
"As a side note, the 'opposing' parties were originally going to do the cards. You were the one who jumped in and said you could get them done *correctly* by the time they were needed. No one outright asked you to do them, you *offered* Nick's time to do them."
Again, this person was NOT at the lunch. The client AND his agent asked me DIRECTLY if we could crank out the cards that afternoon. I then called Nick to ask him. Nick said he could. I never offer Nick's time unless he agrees.
So, I get home and Nick sends me the pdf of these totally kick ass cards complete with a pic and everything. I sent the pdf to the friend who does the website and he went ballistic. He trashed the card, said rude things about Nick's design and was a total jerk. I was so flabbergasted that all I could say was "fine, I'll have Nick redo them".
So, I call Nick, tell him about the phone call and he makes new cards with text only. He stays at work an extra hour or so to do all this. Keep in mind that the Con is the next day and we've not even finished our stuff yet. Nick comes home and we get ready to go downtown to stand in line for our badges. We didn't check email before we left. We go down there and see these friends, who say nothing about the cards or anything.
We get home and I find two nasty little emails in my inbox from earlier that evening, dated an hour apart. Not one nasty email, no, TWO nasty emails informing us "Do NOT use those cards tomorrow - they arent inline with the design on the site and the photo wasnt approved. They do not represent the brand Alan designed." Did they mention any of this when we saw them? No. Did they even bother to ask if we'd redone the cards? No. But they sure as hell had time to send 2 condescending emails! We were livid. This was a RUSH job, not a fucking BRAND MEETING!! We didn't even discuss "branding" at the fucking lunch! The client just wanted some stupid cards to give to fans so they'd go to the goddam website! Big fucking DEAL! This was clearly some sort of power play that we got into the middle of and now our "friend" seemed to consider us lackies rather than equals. He, apparently, thinks that we don't know what BRAND is and we don't understand corporate identity. Um, yeah, right, that's why our website, cards, letterhead and everything else is so tightly integrated...
The next day, after we fumed about this for 24 hours, I sat down and made an appropriate response to the nasty emails. They deserved every word I said and I retract nothing. I said, "Who are YOU to forbid us ANYTHING? What the hell is going on? Who the hell do you think you are? Do you think we're morons or something? What is your problem?"
I also said, "As for me, all I want is an apology for you acting like a total dickhead. Or not. Whatever. I'm not doing one more thing towards kissing your ass(es). I think a ton of beautiful FREE biz cards and a loan to get you thru the Con and my putting aside my projects to haul around YOUR clients is MORE than enough on my part."
The ass kissing part is about me putting up with them in order to allow Nick to pursue some web stuff that he wanted to do. I was ready to cut them loose a month ago, but I held on at Nick's behest. Should have dumped them when I had the urge to.
Their response to my email was not to shoot back a reply or even catch us in the hall to ask what's up. No, their response was to leave an anonymous envelope at the front desk of the hotel with only a money order for the loan we gave them. What is that? The Kat person says this about the money, "You were the one that left money at their house after they *refused* the money." But, as usual, she wasn't there and she is wrong. The reason I went over there at all is to deliver the cash that they agreed to borrow so they could attend the Con. We had it and we assumed that if it'd been the other way around they would have lent it to us. It was in my list of stuff I'd done for them because it WAS something I'd done for them and it was offensive of them to treat us like we were nothing more than a bother after we did so much to help them out. If they didn't want the cash, all they had to do was say no. They didn't. Kat would not know any of that because she WAS NOT THERE.
They apparently said something to the client about us as well, since he was clearly uncomfortable with us after this incident.
We never, EVER had concerns about making money off of this client. We met him casually at DragonCon a couple of years ago. We didn't mind that they got the web gigs - we can't compete with his mad web skillz nor would we want to. We vouched for them to get the web gig. The client asked us if they were trustworthy and if they knew what they were talking about and we assured him that they did. Apparently, the Kat person thinks that she was involved with this as well, she asserts, "I was there the night they originally talked with the client about it all." She was probably at the Chamber event and being as uninformed as she is, she probably thought that that was the only time the client talked to anyone. Wrong. We talked to him before the night at the Chamber. She wouldn't know about that.
With them, it's all about the money and making absolutely sure that they get all the opportunities whether it's their strong suit or not. Or so it appears to us, anyway.
That doesn't totally explain their sudden attitude of treating us like we are lackies who don't have the sense god gave a chicken. I might add that neither of us voiced our opinions on the website that they created (pastels for a male action actor, corporate blandness, horrible looking scans) because we thought it'd be rude. We would never, ever treat our friends like that. We have more respect for their work than that. Heh, not much concern of being rude from them! Hell no, they have no problem telling us what shit we create!!
So, ultimately, Nick kept at them until he got a response and all they had to say was, "Ok nick, the issue isnt with you, its with Angela, and to be honest
neither of us have the time or the patience for this kind of drama."
Well, if standing up against rude, condescending treatment is DRAMA, then baby, I must be the poster child. If that is the criteria, then I'll wear DRAMA QUEEN like a badge of honour. If fighting back after being pissed on is DRAMA, then BRING IT. If telling a WANKER that he is a WANKER is DRAMA, then I'm right there.
Was anyone unaware that I don't take being used very well? I wish I could be bummed about losing "friends" but honestly, with "friends" like that, who needs enemas? [end of the original Rant]
And as for Kat (javakittie@bellsouth.com), who didn't have balls enough to include her URL, one of her [many] parting comments was, "Although your 'opposing' parties are indeed my dear friends, this is all done on my own part." Yes, Kat, we know that due to the assumptions, inaccuracies and personal attacks that you made in the post.
After talking about this extensively, we have come to the conclusion that although Kat takes all the credit for the things she wrote, it had to come from somewhere. We think that the web guy's wife (who is the friend of Kat) is where all this came from. She has shown herself to be a harpie and to think very, VERY highly of herself and her self proclaimed skills so it would stand to reason that all the bile spewed from Kat is actually straight from the wife. We are grateful that Kat chose to relay the stories that she was told because we think that they gave the whole picture of just how little they thought of us all along.
When I made the stupid mistake of linking to the wife's post about the Con (rather than copy the text and post it), the one comment that she made which stuck out was that 'she should've known better' than to 'allow' us to be involved with the client. I think that one little statement shows the total condescension that we were shown by her and her husband. It tells more about their overinflated opinion of themselves and their total lack of respect for us than the rest of her post and the flame from Kat put together. As for her retort that I was revealing identities, well, if no names were used, then how did that bitch Kat know all about my website and everything else? It appears that it's OK for Kat to come to my space and flame me, but it's not OK for any of my friends to be able to check out her crap? Bullshit.
We regret spending a year of our lives with these people who had such a low opinion of us. Our question to them would be this: What was the fucking point? If we are such 'tards and such drama queens and such fans, then why did you hang with us at all? It seems kinda stupid to me. I'm inclined to think that as long as they were not challenged at all and we just went out occasionally, things were ok on the surface, but as soon as the chips were down, they showed their true colors. I am very glad to be rid of such asshole people, personally. Particularly the wife. She obviously had many, many issues with me that she didn't have the balls to bring up, but wasted no time blabbing to her little minion Kat. Mel (yes, that is her name, oooooo, how gauche of me) is one of those women who uses others (Kat) to do her dirty work because she hasn't the guts to do it herself. If she'd spoken up long ago, it would have saved the menfolk and me from this whole mess. She is a typical woman who relies on lies, diversion and duplicity rather than simply speaking the fuck up and being done with it. She is the quintessential example of female "friends", which is why I have only a couple of them. I do NOT like the female methods and I do not participate. Kat would fit into that category as well.
I may write inflammatory things in here, but at least you know where you stand with me. I do not play little high school girlie games, nor do I hedge my bets. I detest women who still have cliques and behave this way - which is most of them. There is a reason I hang with guys most of the time. Go figure.
We are glad to have all this crap behind us as we move along our path. We have lost nothing but some time and we've plenty of that.
Posted by Misangela at September 4, 2003 05:38 PM