McMansions in the 'hood

So the headline today on the AJC is "Moratorium on McMansions". The article is here, but you'll probably have to register to read it, fuckers that they are at the AJC.

Anyway, this issue of McMansions has been an increasing problem here in Atlanta. What McMansion means is a huge ass monstrosity of a house built to the lot line on a teensy 1/4 or 1/2 acre lot with a postage stamp "yard". They are being shoved in neighborhoods where they are surrounded by small ranches or bungalows that are typical in an old INTOWN established neighborhood. This is happening due to the asshole suburbanites moving back intown because they are tired of driving 2 hours in traffic every day. (WAH fucking WAH you wankers)

Suburbanites, you see, don't want these OLD homes with character that are in Atlanta's established neighborhoods like Virginia Highlands, Inman Park, Morningside, Decatur and other areas. NO WAY, they want huge ass cookie cutter "mansions" like they have in the suburbs with 5000 sq. ft of house crammed on a 1/4 acre lot that is within touching distance of the next "mansion" that looks exactly like the one they are in. It's a sickness that suburbanites have, much like having to drive a Tahoe when the most they haul is 3 bags of groceries. In the 'burbs, bigger is better and size matters.

Meanwhile, those of us who live intown and enjoy our old crappy tiny houses with character are threatened by the sudden influx of the aforementioned suburbanites whose mission is to make inside the perimeter (ITP) just like the outside (OTP). Their goals:

- Huge disproportionate houses on tiny lots, preferably all the same model and color
- A "Neighborhood Association" (read: Nazi regime) to ensure that all homes remain exactly the same
- A monster truck or two in every driveway
- A strip mall every 3 blocks (with gas this expensive, who can drive far in a Tahoe??)
- A Wal-Mart every 4 blocks (ditto)
- Mind numbing sameness as far as the eye can see.

I think all the sameness makes them feel safe. But I digress.

The issue is that these breeders are tromping into our intown neighborhoods and building HUGE 3 and 4 story houses that dwarf the ranch homes surrounding them. They are wrecking neighborhoods all over Atlanta. The Ponderosa off of La Vista Road is a prime example of this rampant overbuilding. This neighborhood is mostly ranches and split levels, I think they're from the 70s or maybe the 60s when these styles were the norm. A developer started buying up homes as people moved or died and then to the horror of the neighborhood, started razing the original homes and erecting 3 story McMansions that sit right up to the lot lines. Not only is this visually unappealing, but the noise from the 2 or 3 AC units that it takes to cool the damn things in the summer make it impossible for the surrounding neighbors to enjoy their backyards, much less even see the sun since they are next to a multistory building.

There are ordinances being readied for votes in Dekalb and Shirley Franklin has already stopped the infill building in the city of Atlanta until some rules can be put in place. Everytime I see a "Stop the Infill Building Ordinances! Save your property values!" sign I want to get out and steal it. They are ALWAYS next to a batch of cluster homes (aka McMansions). I have nothing against infill building IF it follows the basic size and style of the surrounding neighborhoods. Period. We have 2 new homes across the street from us and they fit beautifully with the rest of the street. They are bigger, but the lots are so large that you really don't notice.

Of course the developers insist that it's GOOD for the neighborhood because it raises property values, which is bullshit. Who would want to buy a small ranch that sits in the shadow of a McMansion? Moreover, who'd want to pay MORE for a ranch in the shadow of a huge McMansion? What it does do very efficiently is raise property taxes. And of course the suburbanites are clueless about what everyone is mad about. Doesn't everyone want to live in a McMansion?? Why can't we get rid of these pesky independent stores and put in a nice Wal-Mart? We don't want old crap, we want new strip malls! Why is everyone mad? DUH

If you didn't click that link, do it now. It's an excellent dialog about what's happening, with both sides represented in the comments.

There is a reason that ITPers detest OTPers. OTPers, if you want your sameness, you GOT IT out there in the 'burbs. If you have to have that lifestyle then stay the hell OTP where you belong!! We don't want you here with your bullshit mansions, strip malls and SUVs. We LIKE our old homes. We LIKE our established neighborhoods. We LIKE our independent stores. So take your OTP lifestyle and check it at 285 baby. If you want to live with us, then you gotta give up your OTP bullshit.

If you can't give it up, then may I suggest Tributary? Just look at how close those houses are! That should make you feel right at home.

Posted by Misangela at January 20, 2006 09:54 AM